ADD Coaches Blog

Defeating the Demons of Distraction: Talk Yourself Into Writing

ADD Coaches Blog, July 24, 2007

Defeating the Demons of Distraction: Talk Yourself into Writing

            When some coaches are faced with a writing project, they worry that what they want to write is not a worthy or relevant topic. This difficulty has less to do with the coach’s actual writing ability than with the coach’s lack of confidence. This is an understandable feeling for coaches who are new to the writing game. In considering their topic, such coaches might say, “People probably know that already. Is it really relevant? Who would want to read this?” What they end up doing is talking themselves out of the writing project.

            Early in my career, I made similar statements to myself, only to see that the ideas I had come up with were eventually written about by others. When I saw such books and articles appear, I became very irritated. After a few such experiences, I decided to do two things. First, to reduce my uncertainty about whether or not a topic was relevant, I asked students, clients, and colleagues if they saw my idea as a relevant topic. Second, when I had a topic or problem in mind, I would use it as the basis for a set of tips or a short presentation. Based on the feedback from such activities, I would then expand into more substantial writing projects. In addition, I decided to work with a colleague to lower the stress and increase the fun.

            This strategy resulted in the publication in 1979 of Parents Are to be Seen AND Heard: Assertiveness in Education Planning for Handicapped Children, co-authored with my long-time friend and colleague, Judith Greenbaum.

            Here are some tips that you might find useful in helping you decide which of your ideas are worth pursuing:

• Identify the target audience.
• List problems you have noticed.
• Identify solutions to one or two problems.
• Informally survey your intended target audience about questions and concerns they’d like you to address.
• Brainstorm formats that could communicate the message, for example, should you start with a checklist, a question and answer format, or a one-page mini-report?

            These efforts will help you reduce some of the uncertainties (and risks) of feeling vulnerable when you’re considering putting yourself out there as a writer.

            Try this practical application in the next week:

• Choose a trusted colleague or member of your networking group to brainstorm about possible writing projects.
• Identify possible target audiences for your topic.
• Decide the format you would use to discuss your topic, for example, a contribution to a blog or a paragraph in a handout.

            Next week, we’ll discuss how to create a positive work setting so you can get and stay on the right track with your writing project. Until next week--don’t let those Demons of Distraction get you down.

Best regards, Geri

Check out my Web site www.managingyourmind.com to find books and products about the Demons of Distraction.

A Green Vacation

A year ago I went to Yosemite National Park for the weekend with a friend. I had forgotten how beautiful that place is. I made reservations for this year. I wanted to bring my grandchildren back.

We just returned and it was the best vacation I’ve ever had. There were lots of particles I had to manage on this trip: Myself (a full-time job), 2 grandchildren, 3 suitcases, 3 bicycles, a cooler, helmets, tennis shoes, food for breakfast and lunch, my GPS, and on and on.

Spending a week in Yosemite was the perfect Green Vacation. We had no cell phones, TV, radio, or computers. It was delightful. We hiked, biked, swam and simply stared at all the natural beauty and all the friendly creatures — deer, squirrels, bears. On our first bike ride in the meadow, we saw three deer simply munching their dinner in full view of the people walking by. The animals feel so safe they are not afraid of people. My grandkids saw a bear on one of the bike rides they took with a friend of mine.

Lexi, my oldest grandkid, remarked that time seemed to go so slow at Yosemite. She said, “I’m having so much fun and time is moving really slow.”

I remember that very thing being my first reaction when I first took medication for ADHD. It felt like all my clocks had stopped.

I’m grateful I am wise enough to take a green vacation instead of rafting down the Colorado River. In my 40’s river rafting was an appropriate vacation. Now, at almost 62, Yosemite and a 6-mile hike to Vernal Falls is enough.

Blessings on your journey

Pauline Laurent, CPCC
Life Coaching for Adults with ADHD
Claim Your Life Now
www.gutsycoaching.com
707-578-4226

ADHD Undiagnosed and Untreated

Here’s what it looks like in the life of a 70-year-old man.

I went hiking with a group of friends on July 4th. I rode with a friend of mine who agreed to drive his van. Six of us piled in and headed out to our hiking spot. About 45 minutes into the trip, I remarked, “This isn’t the way I would go.” Nothing looked familiar to me.

My friend, the driver, then informed me that he didn’t know where he was. “How long have you been lost,” I asked.

“About 10 minutes,” he said.

We found our way to the hiking trail, but we were 45 minutes late and 10 people had to wait for us to begin the hike.

I saw my friend later in the week and he informed me that he had lost his very special leather briefcase and pen his deceased wife had given him, along with his blue tooth, his calendar and many other papers.

“What happened,” I asked.

“I forgot to lock my car and when I came back to my car after having lunch with a friend, my briefcase was gone.”

I saw him again today. He was going to do some computer work with me at his house. He wasn’t home when I arrived at the designated time.

“I bet he forgot”, I thought to myself.

I sat down under a tree in his front yard and decided that I would wait 15 minutes to see if he showed up.

About 10 minutes later he pulled up in his van.

“I had to go handle an emergency”, he informed me. “My checking account was overdrawn $800”, he said.

He wasn’t upset. I would have been in tears and having a meltdown.

I asked him if I could give him some feedback.

“Sure” he said.

I told him that I thought that much of what he had experienced this week was ADD related.

He knew it. He came to our local CHADD meeting a couple months ago. At the end of the meeting I asked him if he wanted to share.

He said, "I don't like what I'm discovering here."

“I don’t want to have yet another disorder”, he said.

We had a heart-to-heart talk and I invited him to come back to the CHADD meeting that I lead. He said he would.

Pauline Laurent, CPCC
Certified Co-Active Coach
Coaching Adults with ADHD
www.gutsycoaching.com
707-578-4226

Mother-to-be of Multitasking Shoulds

I'm 5 months pregnant, and starting to puzzle about how I'll do things like work when the baby arrives. I've been struck by how many people have such absolute ideas about how it should be done. Now I've heard the stories about how everyone professes the way you have to make each and every parenting decision. I guess I'm just surprised at how this spreads, to, well, everything.

I've been asking around, for example by posting to forums with other coaches, about how they combined coaching work at home with infant care and nursing. This brought out so many responses, some very opinionated or even rabid. Wouldn't you know it, some of these responses were from people who haven't had kids, or didn't work from home or coach when their kids were born. It made me sad and mad- how black and white people can get. Why am I telling you this here? Because a lot of what I heard people saying had to do with attention and multitasking. In short, a lot of people seem to believe it's bad  to multitask. They think it's ineffective, or possibly evil. I hope they don't coach a lot of people with ADHD, because I gotta tell you, as an ADHD coach, I help people manage and maximize the advantages of any multitasking they naturally do. For people with ADHD, it is usually about getting the right cocktail of activity or stimulation- that might include some physical activity while doing something intellectual. Or it might include background music, activity, or even television while working on something. There's even a book, Fidget to Focus, specifically about finding your optimum combos.

I don't claim to know how I'll respond to having the extra person in the house, i.e., the baby, while I'm working. I can tell you that I know that a person's very presence affects my attention and focus without my being responsible for them. That can work well or less well- it isn't about good or bad, it just depends on what works at a given time. I certainly don't know how this person specifically, i.e. my child-to-be, will act at different stages. But what I want to nip in the bud is the notion that I, or anyone, should deal with the combination of work and childcare, at home or otherwise, in particular ways. I'm hoping to collect more stories of quirky combos to that end (the quirks are what I love about this job!) , and I am so happy that I also received responses from people with more nuance than the folks who told me "it is never possible/doable/good to talk to a client when your baby is in the house/ you don't have a babysitter," or "it is unconscionable to ever even consider feeding/nursing a baby while you're on the phone with a client."  Funny thing: I never asserted that I wanted to do that, I just asked how others had handled it and experienced it. I guess I pushed the should-button nonetheless!

So coaches and everyone else, let's stick to looking for whatever on Earth works for you and forget what you think is a "bad" working habit. How can we find out what works when we're all busy judging each other?  And please, share your tales of how you did it in the comments.

Defeating the Demons of Distraction: Getting Unstuck

For many coaches, product development, especially writing projects, are completed bit by bit. You may become bored or frustrated with your rate of progress or with a cumbersome task such as reference checking.

For example, when I was writing Defeating the 8 Demons of Distraction: Increasing Productivity and Decreasing Stress, I got bogged down in the tedious details involved in preparing a final draft for publication. Just at this time, I attended a meeting of the Michigan Chapter of the National Speaker’s Association and heard Paulette Ensign discuss the uses and benefits of tips brochures (www.tipsbooklets.com.) I decided that I needed a break from the book and that I should develop a brochure which became Defeating the Demons of Distraction: 111 Ways to Increase Work/Life Performance and Decrease Stress.

Pursuing a related—but less complicated—writing project helped to renew my energy and focus for the least favorite writing activity related to the final stages of my larger project. Although Paulette touts the profitability of booklets through bulk sales to large corporations, I used this product as a marketing and public relations tool. My experience illustrates how an author got un-stuck and completed two products related to her coaching practice.

If you are in the midst of a long-term writing project and get off track, here are some steps to get unstuck:

• Take a break for a day, week or month. Consider it a healthy break needed for rest, recovery and rejuvenation.
• Visualize the final goal and the positive consequences that can result from completion of the writing project.
• Re commit to the completion of your goal.
• Schedule the date and time at which you will get back on track.
• List and share your concerns about the projects with a trusted friend or colleague.  Ask yourself, “Is stress or fear of failure triggering my lack of energy, avoidance, or procrastination?
• Modify your goals if the project is too large, complex, or difficult.

Try this practical application in the next week:

·        Contact other coaches or authors who might have dealt with similar issues.

·        Read biographies of great authors to raise your awareness of the challenges faced and strategies used by famous authors.

·        Read the blogs of authors on Web sites such as Amazon.com.

·        Join local or on-line groups where authors collaborate and discuss the art and science of writing.

Next week, you’ll find ways to get on track if you experience writer’s block. Until next week--don’t let those Demons of Distraction get you down.

Best regards, Geri

Check out my Web site www.managingyourmind.com to find books and products about the Demons of Distraction.

Defeating the Demons of Distraction: Strenghtening Writing Skills

Continuous learning and improvement is part and parcel of any professional’s life. With any new endeavor comes stress about your competency.  For many coaches wanting to develop products, there may be a subtle but disturbing concern about the adequacy of their writing skills. In some cases, the Stress Demon can inhibit a coach from initiating or completing a writing project.

Writing is a craft that improves with instruction and practice.  There are few overnight successful authors. You may not feel that you are born with writing talent but most people can improve and expand their writing skills. As with other fields, improvement requires instruction and practice.  If you lack experience or skill in writing, you might want to consider the following:

·        Take a refresher course at a local community college or community recreation program

·        Join a journaling club.

·        Keep diary writing about topics that are of interest to you

·        Set up a informal, on-line writing group

·        Subscribe to magazines such as Writer’s Digest or sign up for on-line newsletters about writing; check out Dan Poynter’s Web site, www.parapublishing.com 

·        Take a weekend or week at a writing retreat or seminar

·        Find a writing coach

As you feel more confident and competent, consider writing a short piece of 200 or 300 words.  Pose a question to which you know the answer.  Then discuss and share your ideas with a trusted and knowledgeable friend or colleague. Next, find a person with professional experience to review your organization and flow.  If you are vulnerable to criticism, ask readers to share with you only the positive aspects of your article. Consider writing an article with another colleague.

Two of my friends, Sheila Fiegelson, a fellow author and speaker about the use of humor in the workplace, and Luda Ketslakh, a retired engineer turned amateur photographer, read early drafts of my upcoming book, Defeating the 8 Demons of Distraction.  They were kind with me, but ruthless with the text when sections were unclear or too long.  Their insights and support spurred me on when I got bogged down.   

Try this practical application in the next week:

• Select a topic in which you’re interested in writing.
• Do an Internet search on the key words of your topic.
• Identify locations where a brief article might fit.
• Find the contact person for those websites or publications and request information about article submission.

Next week, you’ll find ways to become un-stuck if you tire of a project. Until next week--don’t let those Demons of Distraction get you down.

Best regards, Geri

Check out my Web site www.managingyourmind.com to find books and products about the Demons of Distraction.

The Cost of an Incorrect Diagnosis

Ten years ago during a particularly challenging time in my life, I suggested to my therapist that I might have Attention Deficit Disorder.

She suggested that I go online and check it out. Not having much success with following through, I didn’t get very far. She never pursued it, nor did I. I guess she thought I had enough to deal with without adding another diagnosis.

She had previously diagnosed me with Dissociative Disorder. I know now that diagnosis was incorrect.

I was experiencing ADD symptoms full-blown. She didn’t know enough about ADD to recognize it. I don’t blame her for this. I don’t think therapists can be well-versed in all aspects of mental health.

I’m grateful I found my diagnosis when I did — at the age of 59. It has helped tremendously in understanding the past, living in the present and planning for the future.

Forgiving her for not knowing any better and forgiving myself for not persisting with getting a diagnosis at the time was a vital part of my recovery.

Pauline Laurent
Certified Co-Active Life Coach
Life Coaching for Adults with ADHD
www.gutsycoaching.com
707-578-4226

Driving Stick

Well kids, it seems that having more to focus on can focus us better. I'm not surprised, and I've worked with people on this for ages. Some people can think better while chewing, or cook better with the radio on. I was very pleasantly surprised to hear that someone studied this with respect to young drivers! This is practical and useful information, where I'm used to hearing the negative from the press about, say, young drivers with ADHD having a higher risk of accidents. I've heard so often from people with ADHD that they focus better on driving with some additional stimulus- just like we focus better on a lot of things with some additional stimulus. Kudos to UVA and Dr. Cox for taking their research beyond the black-and-white!   Here's the news, this from the WCAV news website.

Driving with ADHD: Manual Transmission

June 20, 2007

Psychologists at the University of Virginia have been researching the
driving habits of teens with ADHD and, they believe the type of
transmission you choose for your child may make the difference in
serious driving situations.

"One of the problems with driving and ADHD is they can easily become
in-attentive, daydream and not pay attention to what's going on in
their driving environment," said Dr. Daniel Cox, a researcher and
doctor in UVA's Department of Psychiatric Medicine.

Doctor Cox says in-attentive drivers tend to*not pay attention to
changing traffic lights or other cars on the road.

"If you are impulsive you are more likely to run yellow lights, cut
people off, etc, also exposing yourself and others on the road to
higher risk situations," said Dr. Cox.

Researchers at UVA's Virginia Driving Safety Lab conducted tests on
teen boys age 16 to 19, who suffer from ADHD.

Dr. Cox said, "We trained them in terms of driving in automatic
transmission and or 4-speed manual transmission. Then we evaluated
their driving when they drove either or these two transmissions."

The results show that the teens drove twice as better on a manual car
than an automatic one.

"When I'm driving my manual I have to pay attention to the road more,
pay attention to my speed, so I know what gear to put it in, when I'm
slowing down, when I need to downshift. So I think it helps me focus
a lot better," said Cory Cox, a teen driver.

Dr Cox said, "I think what that says is that anything that draws the
ADHD drivers attention back to driving, what they are doing is a good
thing."

All of these experiments were conducted through the Virginia Driving
Safety Lab at UVA.

Anyone who's concerned that a medical condition may be affecting
their driving should contact the lab with further questions.

Defeating the Demons of Distraction: Finding Time for Writing

Coaches need to manage distractions and their time to complete the many tasks they need to accomplish. Last week, we examined possible writing goals to develop products that enhance a coaching practice. Once committed to a goal, coaches need a plan and a process to ward off the kind of distractions that interfere with progress toward their writing goal. Even when committed, for some people, writing is their least favorite activity.  To increase the time you allocate to a least favorite activity such as writing requires a step-by-step process.  Here is a 5 step process that can help:

1. Make writing a priority.  Visualize how wonderful you will feel when the task is completed.  Image the positive consequences that are possible. State 2 or 3 reasons for which the writing is important in the short- as well as long-term.
2. Make a commitment to yourself.  Identify a first step or some small doable part of the larger whole.
3. Make a reasonable plan of what should be accomplished within 1 or 2 time periods.  For example, list a few questions to address and answer one at a time during a 20 to 30 minute period.  If you questions or topics are too complex, then divide and conquer by generating sub questions.
4. Schedule a time or two during which you can complete the writing task.  Write the times and dates on your calendar or PDA. Select times during which you are most alert and least distractible.  Work in a non distracting setting for 2 or 3, 20 minute periods, taking 5 minute breaks between work periods.
5. Monitor your progress and give yourself rewards as you complete each step.  Feedback is information on performance that is used to decide whether to maintain or modify your performance.  Check off each question you complete.  You may enjoy giving yourself a well deserved reward such as a call to a friend, a healthy snack, or a walk.

Try this practical application in the next week:

• Right now, go to your calendar or PDA and schedule two, 20-30 minute periods devoted to writing-related projects.
• Next, post a comment on this blog during the week about your progress or challenges.
• Give yourself a pat on the back each time you follow some aspect of your plan.

Next week, you’ll find some actions you can take if you’re worried about your writing skills. Until next week--don’t let those Demons of Distraction get you down.

Best regards, Geri

Check out my Web site www.managingyourmind.com to find books and products about the Demons of Distraction.

GPS replaces Map Quest

When I was visiting my sister last month in Illinois, she proudly displayed her GPS on her windshield. I was intrigued. She'd type in her destination address on her GPS that she powered through her cigarette lighter. It immediately gave her step-by-step directions on how to get to her destination. It displayed the directions on the screen as she drove and even spoke the directions out loud.

I'm not a technology geek, but this really appealed to me. In the past I've been lost with my Map Quest directions in hand sitting along side the road trying to figure out where I made a wrong turn.

So this week when I received a Kragen Automotive Store ad stating they had a GPS on sale for $250, with a $50 rebate, I went in to check it out. I waited a couple days, to make sure I wasn't buying impulsively.

An additional feature includes the capacity to download MP3 files and listen to them in your car. Also if you want to find a particular restaurant or a point of interest, GPS tells you how to find it. We found a Thai restaurant in Springfield, Illinois with my sister's GPS.

Some newer model cars come with a GPS installed but mine is portable so I can take it from car to car. How cool is that.

I'm proud that I broke another technology barrier and leaped into being a GPS owner. What a great tool for ADHD folks who have difficulty with directions.

Now I have to find a new Geek friend who can help me set it up. It does seem pretty user-friendly.

Pauline Laurent, CPCC
Coaching Adults with ADHD
www.gutsycoaching.com
707-578-4226